Buyer beware

There are certain places I should never be let loose in if certain situations have occurred or are occurring.
One is a buffet line after I have been released from fasting, but that’s another story for another column.
Last weekend I discovered I should never be allowed to roam free in a video or electronics store when there is a total liquidation sale inside.
I walked through the doors and something snapped inside me. I was worse than a kid in a candy store and a bull in a china shop combined.
One by one movies I had never seen, cared for, or even knew existed began jumping off the fast-emptying shelves and into my hands.
The farther I went inside the store the better the deals, and the better the deals the worse my judgment became.
I grabbed a season of an old television show, one DVD at a time, just because the price said three for $12. I rationalized the purchase by telling myself over and over what a great bargain this was, despite the fact I had seen every episode twice.
It got worse from there. I began browsing the comedy section and another movie wound up in my hands. I didn’t know anything about it besides what I read on the back, but I bought it anyway.
I bought yet another movie, even though I’m about 70 percent sure I bought it once before, and it’s probably still in the bottom of my movie cabinet.
By the time I realized what was happening, I was pouring sweat and my purchase pile was getting too big to carry, so I began panicking and looking for the exit.
I made my way to the front, successfully fighting off the urge to look for “Forrest Gump” one more time.
I knew I had to get out fast since my willpower was fading, so I took a shortcut down one of the front aisles to put as little distance between the register and myself as possible.
I was almost home free when, out of nowhere, another movie caught my eye.
I bought that one because of its great opening credits, and the sign on the register that plainly said it might not be there if I waited until tomorrow.
I left the store sad and ashamed, not just because I am an impulse buyer in a recession, but also because the $31 I spent would have bought three trips through the buffet line.

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